Cracks Everywhere

Cracks Everywhere

I’m in a house that’s falling apart.
Peeled, the plaster;
Cracked, the walls;
Stained, the ceilings.

Critters and bugs assault the structure.
Wood warps and rots.
Paint fades, shingles and trim fall to the ground.
The fence now dilapidated, boards just fallen away.
Mortar now dust on the ground.

It’s just too much to maintain
And it’s all falling apart.

Weeds take over the landscape.
What was green and vibrant is now brown
And choked out from neglect.
Bare spots dominate the yard.

It’s just too much to maintain
And it’s failing to thrive.

Like the house, life’s grown tired and dated
From three years of suspension, of survival.
It’s been neglected.

It’s just too much to maintain.
I’m in a life that’s fallen apart.

The administrator, our superintendent, is gone.
The glue that held it together has disintegrated.

Cancer warped her organs.
Disease rotted her body.
Our life together crumbled and is but a ruin.
And she’s now dust in the ground.

(Written Saturday, March 25 (day 102), a day after I was paralyzed with anxiety and unable to move forward with the day. Family came and rescued me over the weekend, managed much of the kids’ needs and gave me time to get away for the day(s)).